Quote of the Week

It just came to mind, after reminding my habit of writing down funny quotes during my last school placement, that it might be nice to have a section on this blog about quotes people make during my stay in Birmingham.

It’ll start out as a quote of the week, but I expect that this will be more frequent in the end :p

- Tristan

This week’s has to be the following: we (i.e. Casper, Salim and I) had this MSN meeting about who would bring what items for our stay in B’ham and we were discussing the fact that I would bring along a nice set of kitchen knives.

At customs: ‘Applying for a job as a bond villain, are we? Mr Mulders?’” (Casper)

Casper and I were walking down the streets of Birmingham when all of a sudden we saw a quite attractive young girl, early twenties, selling some sort of magazine on the streets.

In the words of Casper: “Those clothes look heavy, shall I wear them for you?

Marta, Iggy and I were sitting in the kitchen talking about creativity and writing texts and all of a sudden Iggy went:

“I once wrote a story about a girl having her period.”

I wrote this sentence down so I wouldn`t forget it. Casper then read the sentence in a wrong way and went like:

“I once wrote a story about being a girl having her period”

We were talking about the group of Erasmus students that are on Newman College together with us and we (Casper and me) basically noticed that the German boys and girls acted a bit odd to the both of us, because we were those loud folks from Holland. Casper made a joke about that and I sort of accidentally picked the wrong word in my reply to him:

“You really need to stop making fun of Germish people!”

A lot of laughter about my mistake and then Casper went, without thinking:

“Oye, you should have said vermish people”

He then looked shocked with laughter at discovering what he just said.

After one of the afterparty`s Casper and I were still talking a bit about nothing in particular when he went like:

“Do you want a beer? (Pause) Oh, wait.. I´m offering you stuff I don´t even have… Do you want a diet coke?”

To which I replied in Dutch, without thinking:

“Is ie versneden?”

I showed Casper a picture of a girl and he was commenting on her appearance:

“She´s got nice ears” (Casper)
- “You can´t even see her ears?!” (Tristan)
-Awkward pause-
“…Idiot” (Casper)

A girl with a nice curvy body and a tight, low cut t-shirt came walking pass us in the corridors of the Halls of Accomodation the other day and she was carrying a handful of cd´s. Iggy then said to her, which was laughably dubious:

“Oh.. nice collection you got over there!”

Iggy read the above quote on my weblog and went like:

“You should not have written that down, it was just about the cd´s and not about the perfectly refined, big, round, awesomely juicy pair of tits she had!”

Cooking with Tristan, Part 1: Cooking noodles

“So what next?” (Casper)
“You’ll have to wait until the water’s boiling before you add the noodles” (Tristan)
- About a minute later -
“Tristan, the surface of the water has changed its appearance?!” (Casper)
- Pause -
“You idiot, it’s boiling!” (Tristan)

One morning Casper, still dressed in dressing gown, knocks on the door of Tristan’s room and sort of wakes him up by doing so.

“Morning Mister Mulders, do you want to have a cup of coffee?” (Casper)
- Pause when Tristan takes in Casper’s appearance, plus the fact that the man himself actually woke up earlier than he did.. -
“You fucking bastard!” (Tristan)

We were talking about a dvd I had lying about on my desk in which the actor Johnny Depp was featured. Mary asked me how I pronounced his name.. I said ‘Dep’.. she then went:

“I prefer Johnny Deep” (Mary)

I had bought an Indian microwave meal, which I thought, based upon the pictures on the box, looked rather tasty. Casper therefore bought the same meal as well and we went off to the kitchen to eat it. I left Casper and Andrés in the kitchen, because I had some unfinished business to attend to and would join them shortly afterwards.
When I got back, Casper had already finished his meal.. and apparantly it wasn’t that good of a meal.

“I’ve seen dead dogs that looked tastier” (Andrés)
“Thank you Andrés, I’ve still got to eat the stuff ” (Tristan)

I then went to my kitchen to grab the meal from my refrigorator and went back to Casper’s kitchen to prepare it. I mean, it could not be that bad, could it?

“Are you going to eat the same meal?” (Andrés)
“Yes…” (Tristan)
“Then I’m gone…” (Andrés)

Oh, and the meal tasted horribly by the way…

Ever since we’ve been in England we’ve been hearing a rubbish popsong by ’singer’ Rihanna, called “Umbrella”. One day last week Casper, Andrés and myself were sitting in the bus on the way back from Birmingham centre and some bloke was playing this song via the speaker of his mobile phone. My reply to Casper then was:

“You know what? I’ve discovered that I have an.. innate dislike for Rihanna’s…”
- Pause to find the right set of words -
“…vocal contractions.” (Tristan)

For I could not call it singing…

Casper, Andrés and I were off to buy some food-related things at the supermarket round the corner on an average Sunday @ 3.30 in the afternoon. When we arrived there Casper was standing near the alcohol section and this drunk, old Manchester United supporter came up to talk to him. What followed was a series of unfortunate events:

“Where you from?” (Drunk Fool)
- “I’m from Holland…” (Casper)
“Oh, I love Holland!” (Drunk Fool)
- Went to give Casper a bonecrushing hug -
- Tristan backed off step by step -
“We’ve been through some tough shit together in the war…” (Drunk Fool)
- He was not old enough to have lived during the Second World War… -
(Still talking to Casper) “You are going to be the next Prime Minister of Holland!” (Drunk Fool)
- The bloke’s cell phone went off and he asked Casper to answer it.. -
“Yeah, I’ll better give you your boyfriend, okay?”
- The bloke hangs up on her -
- Then gave Casper another hug and tried to snog him.. -
“Way too private now mate.. There’s another Dutchman at the milksection!” (Casper)
- I hid -

One of my personal, nonsensical remarks that while thinking about it makes a lot of sense:

“The people you hang out with infect you” (Tristan)

During the first real session of rainfall this month we sort of arranged to meet at the library for coffee, but this meant that we had to get soaking wet (most likely)… Iggy and Casper took the easy (and longer) way out by walking down all the interconnected buildings, whereas March and I decided to go for it and run to the library (+/- 100 metres distance).

“You’re Dutch, I’m from Zaragoza: RUN!” (Marta)

We (Marta, Cristina, Mary and I) went to the local fish & chips store (where they don’t sell fish) and the blokes behind the counter (who barely speak a decent word of English) were laughing about something related to the Spanish girls… When we went outside we had this following conversation:

“We’re they laughing at us or with us?” (Mary)

Cristina then answered with a very sad voice, which made us all laugh out loud:

“They were not laughing with us, because we were not laughing…” (Cristina)

James and I were discussing binge drinking in the UK, this was a very mellow conversation and halfway through I went like:

“They’re not alcoholics… They’re sportsmen!” (Tristan)

Casper and I were supplying the drinks for an afterparty at David’s landing. I went there carrying three different bottles of wine in my hands… When David began to laugh at the sight of it, I said:

“I’m not an alcoholic… I’m a personal with a refined taste!”

And of course, I could never allow myself to forget about this following one. The film “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” has sort of achieved a cult status in our group and in one particular scene at the very beginning of this drug induced film there’s a certain creature present. When we went to Birmingham centre, I decided to buy a fake version of this creature, to hang on my ceiling and then immitate that scene from “Fear & Loathing” when Casper would enter my room… That evening we switched off all the lights, I put sunglasses on, put a sigaret in my mouth and asked Casper to enter the room where we all were sitting..

- I flipped my telephone open so that it gave the ceiling a burst of mysterious blueish light and Casper still did not notice that I was posing the Raoul Duke face with the sunglasses and sigaret.. And then:
“Can you see the bat???! Can you see the bat???!” (Tristan)

Just a random Dutch-Spanish conversation:

“I think that when you put a random Spanish word somewhere, it means there’s a party” (Casper)
- “Puta Party…” (Tristan)
“No, that would be too expensive…” (Andrés)

Casper bought a set of books the other day and he had to pick one extra for the 3 for 15£ sale.. So he bought this book called “Complete Nonsense” or something like that.. Which in fact turned out to be a rubbish book filled with ‘nonsense’ in the form of “funny” poems. Casper then said he’d only keep the book so that we at one point could ritually burn it …

“Ah I see you still got the Ritual Burning book?!” (Tristan)
- “Yeah.. I decided to keep it for the Dutch party.. *imitates putting fire to the book and throwing it roughly in the middle of the room* THIS IS THE WAY WE PARTY IN HOLLAND!!!! (Casper)
“Hm.. sounds more like the German way…” (Tristan)

Marta made me promise the following:

“Promise me that you will call your next dog ‘Kuki’ (Marta)